Let's cut to the chase: The only good uses of Instagram are babies, animals, and baby animals. Do not come at me with food photos. Do not show me your engagement ring. Post something cute or get out of my life.
However, the cute choices on Instagram can be overwhelming. There are approximately 90 billion cute pet accounts. But which ones are the cutest?
Don't worry, we've determined the objectively best pets to follow on Instagram, using the following criteria:
- They must elicit an involuntary squeal of joy.
- They must post frequently.
With no further ado, here are the pets you absolutely must follow on Instagram.
The best senior dog on the internet, Marnie has a permanently tilted head and a tongue that sticks out all the time. We know you've already heard of her, but Marnie is an absolute must-follow.
2. Babie the Otter
It's a tiny otter named Babie. What more is there to say?
3. Hash Brown and Taco
Hash Brown and Taco are two adorable Brussels Griffons. They go on many adventures, and their Instagram often features other rescue animal friends.
4. Yogurt the Pirate Dog
Yogurt is a one-eyed Chihuahua who lives in Thailand. Like Marnie, his tongue permanently sticks out, which is scientifically the cutest thing.
5. JoeJoe the Capybara
JoeJoe is a friendly Capybara who swims in lots of pools, eats lots of vegetables, and just generally seems to really enjoy life. His Instagram often features other Capybara friends, as well as friends from other species.
6. Poppy the Possum
Poppy the rescued possum spends an average of 18 hours a day sleeping, but that doesn't mean her Instagram is boring. She may be sleepy, but she's adorable, and it's always interesting to watch the rare pet possum in action. (Her human mom adopted Poppy when she was left behind by her possum family.)
7. Sid the Beagle
Does Sid the Beagle have the most expressive dog face of all time? It's extremely possible. Also, he loves pizza. Diagnosis: relatable.
8. Smiley the Blind Therapy Dog
Smiley's account will make you cry, in a good way. Smiley was born without eyes, but that has never set him back. He's now a therapy dog for children.
Tuna, who has a cool 1.9 million followers, is one of the original Instagram dogs. His most prominent feature is his gigantic overbite, which makes you want to kiss him on his tiny teeth.
10. Coen, Ava, and Rey
Rey is the only cat we've ever seen who looks like she's smiling. This, obviously, is the best thing ever. Her siblings Ava and Coen also make adorable appearances.
11. Harlow, Indiana, and Reese
You might already know of Harlow and Sage, a Weimaraner and miniature Dachshund who were best friends. Sage passed away in 2013, but Harlow now lives with her friends Indiana and Reese (both miniature Dachshunds), and their adventures are adorable.
12. Ludwik the Hairless Guinea Pig
Ludwik is as cute as he is unique. Though he may seem strange at first, he's not that different from you or I — he hates Mondays just like the rest of us.
13. Minnie and Max the Pugs
Minnie and Max are two super-squishable Pugs who travel all over and look good doing it.
14. Dodger and Rosie
Dodger and Rosie are two miniature long-haired Dachshunds who are half-siblings and best friends. The only words to describe them are "comically adorable."
15. Daisy Underbite
While Tuna is famous for his overbite, Daisy is known for her underbite, which is just as cute. Daisy also has a congenital defect, so she uses a wheelchair to get around. Her huge smile is contagious.
16. Pumpkin the Raccoon
Pumpkin is a rescue raccoon with 1.2 million followers. He is extremely chill and lives with two dogs in perfect harmony.
17. Hedgy the Hedgehog (and Friends)
No list of Instagram pets would be complete without an adorable hedgehog. Hedgy is extremely round, and his hedgehog friends often make appearances on his page.
18. Mr. Bagel the Chinchilla
Speaking of round things, let's talk about Mr. Bagel the Chinchilla. His body is comprised entirely of circles, from his body to his little ears. That is why he is perfect.
19. Brimley the Cat
Named for the mustachioed Wilford Brimley, Brimley the Cat is the fluffiest, smushiest cat you'll ever see. He has so much fur you can barely see his face.
20. Wonton Soup the Pekingese
Where to begin with Wonton Soup? Not only does he have the perfect name, he also has the perfect coat. Wonton Soup has that classically smushed face that makes the Pekingese breed inherently hilarious, plus, as of recently, he has a new puppy brother named Miso Soup.
21. Hamilton and Rufus the Pugs
Hamilton and Rufus are two insanely cute New York-based black Pugs. They always look happy, and they have lots of Pug friends that make appearances in their posts, too.
22. Smoothie the Cat
Smoothie is a British Longhair with the most expressive cat face I've ever seen. Her gigantic eyes are positively hypnotic.
Now go forth and follow these important animals. There is not a moment to spare!