16 Disappointing & Totally Not Made Up Facts About Your Cats

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If there's anything I know a lot about, it's cats. So sit back and learn some totally true cat facts that I did not just make up.

1. 1 out of every 3 cats is a homicidal maniac.

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You probably knew that one though, right?


2. Your cat might eat a baby.

3. Every cat that's held an office job has been fired for sleeping on the job, puking on the boss's desk, and knocking coffee cups off of co-worker's desks. And stealing lunches.

4. Cats are way into crystals and won't STFU about it.

5. If cats were any bigger, we'd all be in trouble.

6. All cats are aligned with dark forces. They will summon these dark forces whenever they want. Watch out!

Even Fluffy. Especially Fluffy.


7. Not a costume. (See above)

8. It's every cats goal to become Internet Famous.

9. Cats are avid readers. And they totally judge you when you watch TV instead of pick up a book.

10. You probably didn't know this one, but cats have venomous fangs.

Or at least that is what my cat told me.


11. They are greedy.

12. Their paws smell like Fritos.

13. Gravity is way stronger when cats are around.

14. Cats are always 100 percent in the way.

If there's a cat around, chances are he's in your way.


15. This one is more of an observation, but it's totally creepy the way cats are always sneaking around, watching you.

16. Cats can switch faces and souls with humans at will. (See #6)