16 Disappointing & Totally Not Made Up Facts About Your Cats

By Amanda Rock

If there's anything I know a lot about, it's cats. So sit back and learn some cat facts that I totally did not just make up.

1. 1-3 cats are homicidal maniacs.

You probably knew that one though, right?

2. Your cat might eat a baby.

3. Every cat that's held an office job has been fired for sleeping on the job, puking on the boss's desk, and knocking coffee cups off of co-worker's desks. And stealing lunches.

4. Cats are way into crystals and won't STFU about it.

5. If cats were any bigger, we'd all be fucked.

6. All cats are aligned with dark forces. They will summon these dark forces whenever they want. Watch out!

Cat standing on illuminated star
credit: Qurong1

Even Fluffy. Especially Fluffy.

7. Not a costume. (See above)

8. It's every cats goal to become Internet Famous.

9. Cats are avid readers. And they totally judge you when you watch TV instead of pick up a book.

Cat reading a book
credit: Mariamlotte

10. You probably didn't know this one, but cats have venomous fangs.

Or at least that is what my cat told me.

11. They are greedy.

12. Their paws smell like Fritos.

13. Gravity is way stronger when cats are around.

Broken pot with houseplant and two cats
credit: em401

14. Cats are always 100 percent in the way.

If there's a cat around, chances are he's in your way.

15. This one is more of an observation, but it's totally creepy the way cats are always sneaking around, watching you.

16. Cats can switch faces and souls with humans at will. (See #6)