An Adorable Kitten Shows The Best Techniques For Bossing Around Dogs In 2017

Kitten surrounded by feathers
credit: Martin Poole/DigitalVision/GettyImages

I'm only four months old, but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that cats rule and dogs drool. I've also learned that tuna is delicious, and that crinkly balls of paper are way more fun than regular toys. Yes, I'm very advanced for my age. Here's the information I've gathered on how to make sure the dogs know who's boss.

1. Dogs are pack animals. Establish dominance over one, and the rest will fall into line.

Kitten lying on couch with three big dogs lying on floor.
credit: Imgur

2. A quick, well-executed bop to the nose is usually enough to remind a dog who's in charge.

3. Make sure the dog understands that your comfort is the number one priority.

Kitten in big dog bed next to dog on hardwood floor.
credit: Reddit

4. Designate an area of the house as the "time out corner," and send the dog there as often as necessary.

Dog on back of couch behind stern-looking kitten.
credit: Imgur

5. Use your surroundings to gain advantage against the dog. For example, elevation:

6. You'd be amazed what you can accomplish when properly camouflaged.

Kitten curled up next to dog with same colored fur. Caption: "Day 11: The dog still thinks I'm fur"
credit: Cheezburger

7. Dog barks? Bark back at them.

8. Loud noises in general may cause a dog to become confused and disoriented.

9. Don't be alarmed by their feeble attempts at intimidation.

Kitten watches big dog yawn.
credit: Imgur

10. Make it clear to the dog that access to certain parts of the house is conditional.

11. Keep dogs on edge with the occasional sneak attack.

12. Some dogs are more difficult to boss around than others. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

Dog standing on chair, surrounded by four kittens.
credit: Reddit

13. Whisper a few well-crafted insults in a dog's ear, and you can utterly shatter their self esteem.

Kitten appears to be whispering to dog.
credit: Imgur

14. Never underestimate the power of vicious mockery!

15. If you get to them soon enough, humans can prove to be excellent allies.

16. Practice your dominance techniques on replica dogs.

Cat lounging on large dog stuffed animal.
credit: Imgur

17. Reconnaissance is important. Study the dog for weaknesses from a safe distance.

Dog doesn't notice kitten perched in tree right above it.
credit: Imgur

18. Identify a dog's vulnerable areas, and strike without mercy.

Kitten attacks back leg of unconcerned dog.
credit: Imgur

19. Persistence is key.

20. From time to time, humans may undermine your position in the household hierarchy. Don't get discouraged.

21. Confidence is much more important than size.

22. Identify "dog people" and convert them as soon as possible. Eliminate if necessary.

Kitten cutting between photographer and laptop displaying photo of dog.
credit: Imgur

23. Get creative!

24. You may find it useful to study human video games for inspiration.

Cat watching TV.
credit: Imgur

25. The occasional display of affection will lull a dog into a false sense of security.

Cat patting dog on the head.
credit: Reddit

26. A massage goes a long way towards making dogs more susceptible to your control.

27. Ultimately, your cuteness is your greatest weapon. Dogs are softies deep down, and with the proper training, you can have them wrapped around your paw in no time.

Kitten lying on dog.
credit: Reddit