File this one under moo-ving violations: A breakaway bovine had to be rounded up by Philadelphia police officers after it escaped from a Christmas nativity scene — twice!
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According to ABC 6 Action News, the cow, a 7-year-old nicknamed Stormy, was spotted early Thursday morning wandering on I-95, a major thoroughfare that carries thousands of motorists daily.
After closing two of the southbound lanes to traffic, members of the state police, including one trooper with ranch experience, worked with animal control officers to corral the 1,600 pound fugitive.
With help from a rope and a squad car escort, Stormy was shepherded back to her manger at the Old First Reformed United Church of Christ.
For most cows, a single jailbreak would be plenty exciting. But Stormy was no ordinary heifer: Just four hours later, she slipped out of her enclosure again.
This time she fled to a nearby parking garage, where officers — and members of the media — ultimately cornered her on the 4th floor.
The udder madness of it all was enough to make the story trend on Twitter, where it quickly stirred a stampede of takes, jokes, and puns.
Even the city's police department couldn't help but turn a hilarious tweet that was packaged with a popular #facepalm meme:
"If you're in the area of 4th and Market, beware of traffic delays. A cow is loose. Again. No, we can't believe we're tweeting this either," they quipped.
And because Twitter is nothing if not social, experts with the Sheriffs' Assoc of Texas, whom presumably have far more experience roping in runaway livestock, returned the favor.
The interagency cooperation did not go unnoticed:
"It's nice that these two law departments can set aside their beef and get things mooving on this case. There's a lot at steak here!"
While it remains unclear how Stormy got free, authorities suspect that someone tampered with the lock on her pen.
For now, the four-legged felon has been returned to a farm outside city limits, where we'd like to imagine she feels far more at home.
Taking her place at the nativity scene for the duration of the holidays will be an "understudy" dubbed Ginger.
All jokes aside, we're just happy that no one, including the officers that risked their lives to bring Stormy back under control, were hurt during this episode.
* = Sorry, not sorry because we will never not
milk an animal pun until it's as dead as your old Myspace page.