No matter how good a person you think you are, I guarantee that every dog on the planet is a better person than you are. It's nothing personal, it's just that, as a rule, people are the worst and dogs are the best. Even the best people are worse than the worst dogs, which are still just pure little balls of sunshine, even when they're peeing on the carpet.
Here are 34 ways your dog is pretty much assuredly a better person than you.
1. You walk around telling people that you "own" your dog and your dog acts like you're his god.
2. Dogs are heroes who never think about their personal safety when there's rescuing to be done.
3. Dogs make friends everywhere they go and they never whine about how hard it is to meet new friends since they finished obedience school.
4. Dogs make faces like these, that just bring pure joy to anyone who sees them (and, sorry, but there's no way you can make any face that makes other people this happy—you just can't).
5. Dogs practice self-care, and if that means stealing a blanket and taking a nap in the middle of the day, then so be it.
6. When you have a bad day, your dog knows just how to comfort you—and he never pretends not to notice you're down so he can watch Netflix in peace.
7. Dogs have been jumping fences to get to people they love since way before Colton made it a thing on The Bachelor.
8. They're stellar athletes who would crush us in every Olympic event if given the chance (okay, minus any that require opposable thumbs).
9. But seriously: The athleticism.
10. They are fierce individuals who aren't embarrassed to sport, for example, the most insane facial hair in existence.
11. They aren't afraid to express their emotions (and most of those emotions are some variation of YAYYYYYYY).
12. Of course, sometimes those emotions are a variation of WTF?
13. They are why memes were invented.
14. They are sober what it takes you three drinks to be.
15. They work smarter, not harder.
16. They're pretty creative when it comes time to make a Halloween costume.
17. Dogs are living proof that there really is something to the saying "the more the merrier."
18. They dance like no one's watching, even when a camera is literally watching.
19. They're confident enough to let their pudge and wrinkles show and to know that those things make them even more beautiful.
20. They have their priorities straight.
21. They're better on Snapchat than any human ever has been.
22. They are the epitome of going with the flow.
23. Dogs have talents we can only dream of.
24. They understand our struggles ...
25. Babies, the second purest beings in existence, implicitly love and trust them—and they scream when humans they don't know touch them.
26. They're natural playmates.
27. They need us and they let us know it.
28. They know what they're about (mostly belly rubs).
29. They live the whole "seeing is believing" mantra.
31. Sometimes to a fault.
32. They're expert songwriters (probably).
33. They were built for cuddles.
34. They find joy in every moment, which we should all aspire to do.