You’re dating someone new and it’s going great. You guys have the same exact sense of humor and when you kiss, fireworks explode over your head and Tchaikovsky’s "1812 Overture” plays. And then you go back to their place and see — DUN DUN DUNHHH — a cat. But you have a dog?! You have been a dog person since birth, and it turns out your S.O. is a dyed-in-the-wool cat fanatic.
Can you make this work? Of course you can. This is true love we’re talking about. Still, there are going to be a few bumps along the way to everlasting romance. Pet-related things to watch out for include...
1. As a dog person, you will NOT be able to understand why your S.O. puts up with this furry sociopath.
Like, this cat gets FED and CLEANED UP AFTER and GIVEN TOYS and literally has EVERY WHIM catered to, and still the ungrateful creature proceeds to completely ignore their devoted human servant. Ugh, what a brat.
2. As a cat person, you will NOT be able to understand why your S.O. puts up with literally the neediest animal on planet Earth.
Omigod, this dog follows you around everywhere, even into the bathroom for chrissakes. And it ALWAYS needs its ears scratched AND for you to throw the tennis ball. Like, this neediness is driving you up the freaking wall. Whatever happened to a good old cat who will just leave you alone?
3. As a dog person, you will not understand why there are literally NO rules for your S.O.’s cat.
The human-dog relationship is defined by boundaries. Your pup knows basic commands, which pieces of furniture are off-limits, and not to bark at the Fed-Ex guy. Well, he knows not to bark, he just does it anyway. But cats have no rules. None. They are basically little emperors of their domiciles. With your 40-pound dog, you are the boss, whereas your S.O.'s eight-pound cat is the king of everything the light touches, and this can take some getting used to.
4. As a cat person, you will not understand why your S.O. has to take their dog EVERY-FREAKING-WHERE.
Going to brunch? Take the dog. Hike? Dog. Pharmacy run? Do they allow dogs? Then into the car the pup goes. Seriously, unless there is an explicit sign that says they're forbidden, your S.O. will bring their four-legged furball because they feel guilty leaving them behind. Which makes you extra grateful for your cat, who ignores you 75-90% of the time, and is super fine being left alone for hours on end.
5. You will both think the way the other person deals with pet poop is completely disgusting.
Cat people shudder at the idea of having to pick up poop off the sidewalk. Meanwhile, dog people can smell a litter box from a mile away and think it is just so nasty that a cat goes in a box and the poop just hangs out there, in your house for hours and hours and hours. Days sometimes. Blech.
6. As a cat person, the sound of your S.O.’s dog’s bark will start to haunt your dreams.
Does that dog ALWAYS have to yap? The mail person comes every day, like doesn’t this animal get by now that everything’s fine and no one’s trying to storm the castle?
7. As a dog person, you will become very tired of your cat person citing all the supposedly scientific reasons cat people are better. STFU already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, cat people are apparently smarter, more open-minded, and have a more sophisticated sense of humor. Umm, where’s the study that also proves cat people are also way more annoying than dog people, huh?
8. If you spend enough time with your S.O.’s pet, you’re probably going to start falling in love with the little rascal. (Drat!)
You as a dog person could never stand cats, but you find yourself making an exception for Mister Whiskers. By the same token, as a cat person, you used to think all dogs were the slobberiest and the dumbest, but you actually kind of like Rover’s dumb slobber kisses now. This doesn’t mean you’ve switched teams, you’re just willing to make an exception for your S.O.’s pet. (Yeah, right. The truth is, you are now a cat/dog lover in training.)