This Woman’s Complaints About Her A**hole Rooster Are Absolutely Hilarious

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Sometimes even the best pets have to be rehomed. And sometimes the absolute worst pets have to be rehomed. A Michigan woman named Denell McCaul is trying to get rid of a pretty terrible pet — her a**hole rooster.


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In a Facebook post that has gone viral, McCaul outlined exactly why she thinks the rooster is such a jerk.

According to McCaul's post, the rooster will wake you up at 5:30 every morning, chase you around the yard, and force you into weird interpretive dance moves if you ever need to catch him.


Read the full text of her post below:

FREE to good home. Well, any home really. At this point I don't give a shit what kind of home this inconsiderate jerk goes to: ASSHOLE ROOSTER. He's the perfect rooster if your alarm is broken and you need to be awake at 5:30 a.m. That is his only setting, 5:30. He has no snooze button but will be quiet just long enough for you to fall back to sleep and then he'll start back up with his obnoxiouscock-a-doodle-doing right outside of your windows. It's like he knows where you sleep and can zone in on that particular window so maybe he has some sort of special x-ray vision where he can see sleeping people behind walls. He is also a perfect rooster if you want to start running... around your yard... while you're trying to get away from him. He no longer goes after me as he is also an instructor of interpretive dance. Or at least that's what I imagine it looked like as I went after him flapping my arms, jumping up and down, kicking at him, yelling and screaming, and swinging a mop in his direction. So, if you're looking for an alarm clock with the only setting being 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer and a dance instructor, I have the perfect rooster that is able to fill all 3 of those positions FOR FREE! But you're coming out to catch this asshole, I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson.

The good news is, the rooster comes at the most reasonable of prices: free. Any takers?