They are not moving from your lap.
1. How dare you even consider waking this sleeping angel?
2. "Me move? Surely you're joking."
3. I hope you're comfy because you are not moving for many, many hours.
4. This cat is deeply offended that you're even considering standing up.
5. This is where you live now because that cat is not getting up anytime soon.
6. Maybe you can ask Santa to bring you a second lap because this one is occupied.
8. Look at how comfy he is on your lap! His little nose is all tucked in! Only a monster would disturb him. You're not a monster, are you?
9. She better just sit there until those kittens are grown up.
10. "I hear you're thinking about getting up. I would rethink that decision."
12. She is shocked and appalled that you would get up to pee when she is gracing your lap with her presence. Shocked!!
13. She knows what you're thinking.
14. Hello you are now officially a cat bed.
15. Look at those little toe beans and tell us you need to get up. We didn't think so.
16. If you get up we are calling PETA on you.
17. She's worried you're gonna get up but we know that you wouldn't dare.
18. LOL just try and get up to pee.