Breaking Mews: 13 Scandalous Headlines Ripped From A Newspaper For Cats

By Jeremy Sutheim

Cats can make more than a hundred different vocal sounds, but somehow that still leaves a lot of room for miscommunication. If cats had their own newspaper, maybe reading the headlines would give us a little insight into their world.

1 String Theory Experiment Suspended After Tragic Accident Befalls Scientist

2. Incriminating Cuddle Photos Leaked: Is It Treason?

Two dogs and a cat sleeping in an armchair.
credit: justacargal

3. Primitive Human Technology Streamlines Travel Between Food Room and Fortress

Cat rides a skateboard to its tower
credit: Cheezburger

4. Household Survey Confirms: Cats Rule, Dogs Drool

Cat sits on large dog bed while two dogs lay on the floor next to it.
credit: Imgur

5. Doppelganger Sighting May Indicate Existence of Mirror Universe

Cat is surprised by seeing itself in mirror
credit: Imgur

6. New Theme Park Ride Met With Little Enthusiasm

Cat rides a Roomba vacuum
credit: Giphy

7. Humans Think They're So Goddamn Funny

Cat dips it hand in water glass, someone removes glass while cat isn't looking
credit: Imgur

8.  Fearless Feline Defends Against Attack By Levitating Automaton

Cat pops cat-shaped balloon
credit: Cheezburger

9. Ongoing Battle Against Gravity Claims Juvenile Victim

Two kittens are sleeping on a wood bench, and one of them falls off
credit: Giphy

10. Human Rejects Attempts at Negotiation; Hunger Strike Continues

Cat looks annoyed while standing over food bowl with kibble in it.
credit: Cheezburger

11. Peaceful Afternoon Nap Interrupted By Unidentified Yellow Object

Cat on a couch is surprised by banana next to it.
credit: Reddit

12.  Local Cat Finds Record Breaking 22 Hiding Spots In Studio Apartment

Cat's face barely visible in cubbyhole containing linens
credit: Reddit

13.  Search For Elusive Red Dot Reaches New Heights

Cat climbs up a wall to catch laser pointer dot.
credit: Imgur