20 Cats With Better Jobs Than You

Another week brings another ridiculous Facebook page to obsess over.

Meet T H I S C A T I S E M P L O Y E D, a forum for cats with jobs and purrfesional careers (sorry, not sorry) — both real and, well, imagined.

Currently home to a little more than 12,000 members, the public group features dozens of hilarious posts daily.

And while the pictures are plenty adorbs, it's the shared vocabulary (like deliberately misspelled pronouns and contractions) and stylized formatting (CAPS-heavy with s p a c e s inserted between characters) that helps push the captions into the LOL-worthy share zone.

But enough of the chitter chatter: let's get to the good stuff!

1. "this hamb is a S E C Ü R Ì T Y G Ò R D"

white cat peers down from top of door
"I don't want to overstate this, but this may be the best picture in the history of the universe"
credit: Daniel Rutkowski via Facebook

2. "G R I L L M A S T E R"

cat with plush toy stands over heating grate
"Do you want it licked or not licked? (JK! It's already licked 😂)"
credit: Stacey Burns via Facebook

3. "Meet Junior Ranger Jeff!"

cat in national park service ranger hat
"Finally, a reason for me to take up hiking"
credit: Alexandra Joeckel via Facebook

4. "My apartment's pest control guy always refers to Richie (my cat) as a 'fellow industry professional'"

Pest control guy refers to cat as fellow professional
"Game recognizing game"
credit: @stellmoney via Twitter

5. "Came in to wash kegs this morning. Apparently someone forgot to close the display case. Good thing Russell was keeping watch."

cat keeps watch over stuff in display case
"He's security AND for sale in the window! Himb's a M E R C E N A R Y :O"
credit: Riverport Brewing Company via Facebook

6. "TSA Kitties 😍"

kittens investigate purse
"Can’t smuggle nip past these cats."
credit: Nikki Love via Facebook

7. "APOLLO IS AMAZON DELIVERY BOY"

cat sits on Amazon delivery
"Alexa, order me one of these"
credit: Ketzel Pretzel via Facebook

8. "please support my cat he’s an author, model and survivor"

cat poses for (fake) book cover
"Mews reports say this is a hoax. Himb was fed a mere 5 mimutes ago"
credit: Amanda Sargent via Facebook

9. "this cat is a B A C K R E S T"

10. Sergeant Hamb (tank commander): "Onward comrades. We will liberate our homeland from the capitalist dogs and it rename it Meowscow!"

gray cat in cardboard, cat-sized tank
"Peace was never an option"
credit: Pedro Velasco via Facebook

11. "Himbs a counterfeit note checker and confiscator"

12. "He was spotted roaming around the reception area of the Order of Attorneys of Brazil after seeking shelter from a storm. Now, Leon the cat is a hired employee whose job it is to greet guests."

13. "Truffles works at an ophthalmologist office & wears glasses to help little children feel comfortable wearing theirs!"

Truffles has finally embraced her new green glasses!

Posted by A Child's Eyes on Monday, August 5, 2019

14. "Himbs supervise the dishwashing"

cat lazes on counter above open dishwasher
“Did you pre-wash? Sanitize? Who taught you to load a dishwasher? Why haven’t my thumbs been delivered? Daaaaaw!”
credit: Inês Isabel via Facebook

15. "Cat is I N V E S T I G A T O R, taking notes about who stole your fur."

cat investigates shower
"hoomin just checking on u. watch ur step. slippery when wet"
credit: Jeannie Beannie Sprout via Facebook

16. "This cat is a H A C K E R & C R I M I N A L  M A S T E R M I N D"

cat triggers laptop alert after incorrect password attempt
"Not very good at it, but himbs trying and that's what matters"
credit: Novitria Fajar Ilmayani via Facebook

17. "When you finally start your Christmas Tree Destruction training"

cat sits in class with soldiers
"Because higher ranked soldiers don't need to wear any uniform 🤣 🤣 🤣"
credit: Anton Pihlström via Facebook

18. "Jean-Ralphio, big designer boy."

cute cat pops out of sewing machine
"He's designing his haute cature collection 💖"
credit: Jae Elizabeth Ratkay via Facebook

19. "Looks like there are excellent catto careers in the renewable energy field!"

cartoon of cats wearing jackets made from solar panels
"Cue the guy-tapping-head reaction GIF!"
credit: Leann Harman‎ via Facebook

20. "When you lie on your resumé but get the job anyways"

cat wearing police dog vest
"He's going undercover!"
credit: Brenda Dugero via Facebook

Does your cat have a cool career? Tell us about it in the comments below!