Whoever penned these hilarious captions is a mad genius with a rich imagination. 👏 👏 👏
1. Last seen peering covetously through the blinds at her neighbor's shiny new minivan. #gossiper
2. Even good boys have a bad side.
3. He won't eat your treats unless they're artisanal.
4. Oh, Sharon.
5. She's probably also the type to bring a full shopping cart to the express checkout lane.
6. "I didn't choose the rockabilly life, the rockabilly life chose me." — Hank, as the black and whites shoved him in the back seat of their squad car
7. Can often be spotted on Haight St. bumming loose change.
8. Living her best life 24-7-365 is all Patty wants to do.
9. Proper doge is very proper.
10. Her Instagram profile consists entirely of bathroom selfies and handstand shots on the beach. #inspo #goals
11. Can't even ollie but only sports the latest streetwear from Supreme and Obey. #literalhypebeast
12. Because the first step is admitting you have a problem. #wearehereforyouDarryl
13. "You're only cheating yourself" — Debbie when she catches you in a fib
14. "Same" — me when I think back on the middle school years
15. Spins records at the local humane society on the weekends for fun.
16. LOVES to argue about identity politics with the fam during Thanksgiving dinner.
17. Played competitive soccer in college, but now finds himself with a doggy dad bod and resolves to make the gym a priority.
18. Self-care isn't just a buzzy mantra, it's her lifestyle.
19. Sets the age field on his Tinder to 22-58 just to "see what's out there".
20. His parents hope that goth is just a phase he'll outgrow — but they're wrong!
21. You might not expect it but this is the face of the opioid crisis.
22. Never misses the chance to celebrate 420 twice daily.
23. "Pffft, I'll just stream it on my MacBook (Air)." — Erik
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