Girl's 'Interview' With Cat Gets Real, Really Fast

By Travis Greenwood

A Q&A with a cat?

We know, we know: It sounds like ... wait for it ... fluff journalism.

But as this 10-year-old's "interview" with her pet mouser, Coco, reveals, today's aspiring reporters aren't afraid to ask the HARD questions — or probe the limits of twin hot button issues like touching and consent.

For more, we go to Twitter, where the teen's dad, Paul Duane, proudly uploaded a handwritten transcription of the convo earlier in the week.

"My kid did an interview with her cat," reads the caption on the now trending snap, which has been shared more than 25,000+ times since it was posted Monday morning.

Like so many exchanges between interviewer and subject, this one opens with a soft(fur)ball: "Can I rub you on the head?"

And Coco's response isn't all that unexpected: "Absolutely!"

The girl's followup query, however, hints at the fireworks to come: "The tummy?"

"YOU-ARE-FORBIDDEN-TO-EVER-TOUCH-MY-BELLY!!!"the cat replies in full CAPS LOCK, no-fly-zone fashion.

It's when the girl, Gabi, attempts to dig deeper — "The butt?" — that the fickle feline puts a hard stop to the prepubescent Cronkite's inquisitions.

"IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?!?! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!!" Coco declares in a huff, before (we imagine) storming off to nibble on some flavored tuna or the like (self-care, amirite or amirite?).

Not surprisingly, folks on the microblogging platform found the imaginary back-and-forth to be plenty funny — and relatable.

"This is the best thing I’ve read today. A future in writing."

"My cat-mad 10 year old loves this 😂 🐈"

"Your kid is actually funny, not kid funny."

"That blew up. She is a premium content generator and will look after you in your dotage."

"this is all hilarious but the use of dashes during the cat's hard boundary setting is iconic"

Bringing everything full circle, Duane subsequently shared news of this newfound viral notoriety with his daughter — and like any eager young writer, she was stoked to learn that her work was resonating with an audience outside her circle.

"Can’t wait for the kid to get out of Scouts so I can tell her she’s gone a bit viral."

"I told her & she said “maybe I’ll be more famous than Jane Austen!”

Looking for more work as a freelance reporter here at Cuteness.com, Gabi? Hit. Us. Up.