The Winners For The Most Outstanding TV Show Pets Are...
*CONTAINS GAME OF THRONES SPOILER*
It's Emmy time, and while we're happy to be honoring the best humans on TV, the ceremony always neglects the true stars: the scene-stealing animals that make us forget about binge watching and go play with our pets instead. Okay, so maybe that's not exactly what TV producers want to happen, but we still believe the pets of TV deserve some love too, which is why we've decided to hand out a few awards of our own. And yes, if any of these animal actors want to come hang out and cuddle in person, that would be totally okay with us.
1. Best Performance by a Pet Most Likely to Give You An Allergic Reaction: The Cat from The Night Of
The Night Of was one of this summer's most addictive series and this cat totally stole the show (LINK TO PIECE). He also totally tormented most of the characters with his allergy-inducing pet dander, apparently, because no one could stop talking about how allergic they were to him.
2. Best Performance by a Pet Tragically Dying and Ruining Your Life: The Direwolves from Game of Thrones
This season of Game of Thrones had some truly heartbreaking moments (#HOLDTHEDOOR, #JUSTZIGANDZAGRICKONOMG), but none were as world-shattering as (SPOILER ALERT) the deaths of not one but TWO Stark family Direwolves. RIP, TK and TK. RIP.
3. Pet with the Best Nostalgic Name: Comet Jr. Jr. from Fuller House
When Fuller House premiered on Netflix this year, practically all of our favorite characters returned. Sure, there was the noticeable (and kind of awkwardly-handled) absence of Michelle, but the character we knew definitely wouldn't be returning was the Tanner family dog, Comet, who would have been about 27 in 2016 (the oldest known Golden Retriever lived to be about 20). But Steve Hale kept Comet's spirit (and name) alive with his grand-pup, Comet Jr. Jr. Adorable. Then DJ's son adopts one of Comet Jr. Jr.'s puppies and names it Cosmo to kind of carry on the family name, which is still cute.
4. Best Performance by a Pet in a Supporting (Adorably-Smushy-Faced) Role in a Comedy Series: Stella from Modern Family
Modern Family and its human stars get nominated for Emmys year after year, but what about Stella, the adorable French bulldog who melted Jay's heart (along with all of ours)? Doesn't she deserve some love in the shape of a golden trophy? We sure think so.
5. Best Performance by a Seriously Spoiled-Beyond-Belief Pet & Crazy Canine Mom in a Comedy Series: Abattoir & Jacqueline Voorhees (Jane Krakowski) from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Any dog that's owned by any character Jane Krakowski plays is bound to know luxury, and this dog has played not one but TWO pups owned by Krakowski's fictional alter egos. Although Abattoir on Kimmy Schmidt doesn't get a ton of attention or backstory (but we do know it's genetically modified not to poop), we do know that it knows the luxe life inside and out and that has to count for something.
6. Best Performance by a Pet Living In An Unstable Environment Who May or May Not be an Alter-Ego But We're Not Really Sure About Anything in this World Anymore: Flipper from Mr. Robot.
Image: USA Network
Sure, sure. Our "Democracy Has Been Hacked" and none of us are safe from the E-clutches of E-greedy E-corporations and their E-conspiracies, yada yada. But all we want to know is — what happened to Flipper the dog?! If that adorable pooch met some diabolical Fincher-esque/Lynch-ian/American Psycho-ish end, we're gonna lose our marbles, Elliot-style.